If you ever want to feel 100% out of place, be a first-time vendor at the AVN sex expo in Las Vegas, wear a business-casual blazer over a button-down, and hang out with pornstars.
After a couple of hours of gawking at busty babes and tentatively poking dildos, I could finally relax and really think about things. The expo took place at the Hardrock Cafe in Las Vegas and lasted Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Long days, big crowds, and tons of hot naked bodies. It was an overwhelming, exciting blur. Three venues within the Hardrock Hotel and Casino were set up with sex service and novelty vendors of all walks. I tried electro shock massagers and experimented with a violet wand. Smeared on every lube, cream, lotion, and love potion sample I found. Chatted up sex workers, adult models, and pornstars. Stuck my finger in every Fleshlight (but really any toy with an opening) I saw. Shared my vagina’s nickname with SweetSpot Labs. It was pretty unreal.
Things I loved about the AVN Expo:
Innovation. People at this thing had amazingly innovative product and service ideas. My favorites include: the Pink Diamond, an exercise ball with a built-in dildo, perfect for “sexercising”!; Booty Parlor cosmetics, sexy pheromone-infused creams and such that are all delicious; Marcus London’s Time To Squirt Watch, a wristwatch that indicates effective movements that lead to female “squirting” orgasm. At Time to Squirt’s booth, they had this prostrate sex doll that you could test out the watch on! I totally got in there… Majorly creative, entrepreneurial people. I’m so glad I got to know them and what they’re up to! So inspiring.
Open sexerbration. I didn’t have to whisper about what DoubleClit Here was. No parsed words about which part of the body DoubleClit Here decals feature. No pre disclosure statements before I told people about what I was selling. I could just say it, loud and proud, that I sell vagina computer trackpad decals. VAGINA TRACKPADS!!! People were down with the V and wanted to talk about it. Also they loved it! It’s a huge ego boost when strangers tell you you’re a genius again and again. #brushingmyshouldersoff
It’s a huge relief to receive in-person positive feedback. In case you don’t know, dear reader, vagina trackpad decals aren’t always an always an easy sell. At parties or bars, I’ll meet someone and determine they are totally down with vaginas. I’ll get excited, hand them my card as I start telling them about DoubleClit Here, then *BOOM* suddenly we’ll reach conversation ground zero. They’ll blink at me, excuse themselves, and find their friends to identify me as the strange, vagina-obsessed girl. I’m left wheeling “Was it me? Was it my vaginas? Maybe they don’t like pubic hair…” So at the AVN Expo, I was thrilled people WANTED to keep talking to me after I whipped out my card and gave my spiel!
Things I didn’t love about the AVN Expo:
Voyeurism. Look at this video: Oh hey, girl across the aisle from me… Throughout the expo, I felt creepy about seeing hoards of men snapping shots/grabbing and posing with adult talent and porn stars. It felt like a human petting zoo. And most of the visitors were men with their tongues lolling out. It’s tricky because the adult performers were there for photo exposure and to meet fans. So they probably wanted that kind of attention. But from my end, watching groups (of mostly men) tripping over themselves to get a look at the ladies was funny. Funny, strange. They moved slowly, raised their cameras above their heads for a clear view, and just stood there captivated as the models posed for photos. It was literally like watching stupefied zombies shuffle towards live human flesh. Part of why I didn’t like this zombie phenomenon was jealousy; because my booth was directly across from beautiful, hip-gyrating adult models, I lost my audience. And when the girls gyrated, stuck their fists into their mouths, and dangled spittle from their fingers, none of the onlooking crowd noticed me or saw my vagina trackpads! Ugh.
Grimacing. Sometimes, a strange and terrible thing happened when people walked by my booth. People would stroll past my booth, glance at me, focus on my vagina trackpad decals splayed (pun extremely intended) all over the table, and grimace. It was grimace city all up in the front of my table! Squinted eyes, slight head jerk, tightened lips; like something smelled rotten! I think it’s because not everyone is down with the V. I mean, to each their own; if vaginas aren’t your thing then they’re not your thing. But as very sensitive, personally invested vagina trackpad maker, I took offense. Every time someone walked past and grimaced, I yelled after them, “You’re at a sex expo and you don’t want to see vaginas!!??” “Can’t look at a vag? You’re at the wrong expo!!!” haha Sorry I’m not sorry.
For a couple of months before, I was unsure about going to the convention and how DoubleClit Here would fit into the mix. Would I be able to maintain the feminist message behind the product? Would meet other novelty vendors I could relate to? I wasn’t sure what I’d gain by attending. My mother swore that the expo would conjure the perfect storm of every pervert, rapist, and no-good doer, and they would pillage and ravage Las Vegas in a sex-fueled rage. Luckily, Mom wasn’t right this time. The place was packed with people who want to know about what they could buy and experience to feel sexy. Which, is to say, to feel sexual pleasure. Pleasure is a happy, healthy, AWESOME thing. And in that way, DoubleClit Here was right at home with crowds at AVN Expo. 🙂
See ya in 2015, Sin City!